Top Ten of 2013

Jesus.

It always comes back to Him. I'm captivated by this truth: whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. 

That's the message I want to spread with my life. That anyone and everyone is worthy of love, respect, compassion, and the extra coat I have in my closet. That I treat everyone I encounter with the same attitude and appreciation that I would if I were in the presence of the most high King. However I fill the hours of my days and whoever comes across my path, it always comes back to Him.

Kyle.
Starting a new life with the greatest man I've ever met. Although I say I don't believe in soul mates, I know without a shadow of a doubt that we are made for each other. And that no matter what time in history we were born, we would have found each other.
This man is humble. He is hardworking. He is always willing to serve. He encourages me when I need it. He appreciates my independence. He makes me laugh, and even laughs when I make jokes at his expense. He doesn't judge me for wanting to eat pizza every single day. He keeps me grounded. He challenges me to better myself. He is the "doer" to my "dreamer."
He's my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Here's to lots more arguing (but learning how to communicate better), sleeping in, hiking, eating pizza and ice cream, traveling to new places, laughing out loud, playing banana grams, and all the other little things that make up a lifetime.

Lulwanda.
My small friends (and big, adult friends!) at Lulwanda Children's Home in Mbale, Uganda. The Lord was so gracious to bring this place into my life. The whole story of how I ended up there is too long to post here, but it is a relationship that is meant to be. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my friends, family, and home in Uganda.

Also, just to brag on these kids, this home, and the workers/volunteers some more… You have to watch this video. Phenomenal.

The Wedding Week. 

Everyone should have one. Which is to say, everyone is worthy of feeling totally and completely supported, loved, encouraged, and appreciated for at least one week of their life (it doesn't necessarily have to be your wedding week, I just happened to experience this outpouring of love during my mine.) It was truly overwhelming and humbling to see so many different people just love on Kyle and me during this week. I am in awe that I could mean that much to even one person, much less so many. I pray I carry the spirit of that week with me and shower that upon everyone I meet.

Photo copyright Daylight Photography© 

Education. 

A few weeks ago, while reading the draft version of my post, I was overwhelmed with appreciation for being literate. Having the ability to read and write is truly amazing. I am so fortunate to live in a country, and an era, that education is possible for me. And although I am frustrated by student debt, and have very strong opinions of the educational loans institutions, I am forever indebted to the teachers, aides, professors, adjuncts, mentors, advisors, and countless others who have helped me become the woman I am. I can't even imagine my life without my education, and for that I am eternally grateful. 

And then there's this video, that captures a newly accepted college student's initial reaction so beautifully.

Ice Cream.

I have had the opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite treats in so many delicious ways this year. Nothing tastes so refreshing as a milkshake when you're in Uganda. Or so sinfully sweet as four gelato stops while exploring Rome on your honeymoon. We've enjoyed everything from the farm fresh ice cream from Maple View Farm in North Carolina, to the ever so creative flavors of Gelato Messina in Sydney, and countless other treats in between.  It's also true that Kyle's grocery lists nearly always begin with "ice cream."

Growing Up.

I am usually the first to lament the tragedy of being an adult. A typical Monday morning conversation in the Rifkin household begins with the question, "Why did we think it would be fun to grow up?" Adulthood often seems to be filled with mounting mundane responsibilities, complicated scenarios with no right answer, endless bills, and no time for naps. Just let me be three again! 

But with the inevitable challenges, frustrations, and minor inconveniences, also comes the achievements, joys, and huge blessings. I'm grateful to continue to age. I'm excited about the story I'm writing with my life. I'm thankful for the older adults in my life who show me the way, offer words of wisdom, point out areas that need serious growth, and help me laugh at myself. Every season of this life is a gift. 

(But seriously, being three was awesome.)

Family.

Oh, what a funny thing family is! While the formal definition states that family consists of parents and children - I have to argue that this is entirely too narrow. Family is a loaded word that is so much more than shared bloodlines. Family is a safe haven or it's a painful memory. It's connected by the kitchen table in a shared home or through Skype calls that span oceans. It's sticking together through the hard times or learning who can't be trusted with a secret. It's the people you call with exciting news or the ones who like your Facebook status update. And none of these things are mutually exclusive. In fact, family is that one weird place these are all felt and experienced simultaneously. I've added to my family in many different ways this year, and I love how wide my family tree has spread. 

Photo copyright ARThropology Jax© 

Women.

I have been so appreciative of the wisdom, grace, and guidance that I have felt from the women in my life. From my mother, Virginia, who taught me how to be thankful in each circumstance, to be a blessing, and to be true to myself. To my other mother, Isabell, who has exemplified sacrifice in numerous facets of her life and teaches me the importance of looking at the bigger picture. To my Grammy, who has inspired generations with her tenacity. To my Oma, who moved across the world with her family and who's life story has encouraged me on this adventure. To my little sister, who faces an incurable disease with incredible grace and lives to the fullest. To one of my older sisters, who has faced unimaginable pain yet continues to be a vessel for love. To my other older sister, who is one of the most devoted and passionate people I know. There are countless others that I could and should list, but these words are not enough. Just hear me when I say this: I am blown away by each of you. I am so thankful for your influence on my life. I admire you, I value you, I trust you, I love you. I mean it when I say I want to be like you when I grow up.

Photo copyright Daylight Photography©

Goodness.

We all know just how much negativity is being perpetuated out there. Through the news outlets, social media, and the way we interact with each other. There is so much junk we have to sort and filter through. So, instead I'm focusing on all the goodness that I've experienced and witnessed over the past twelve months. I know one stunning lady - truly beautiful inside and out - who has started an organization to help families and individuals affected by terminal illness capture memories to treasure. My little sister began a dance camp for young girls in 2009, and now RAKAD has grown to host two camps and performances a year. My family and friends have all experienced so much goodness, even in the midst of heartbreaking pain. 

I even want to celebrate the small goodness of having phones and internet. In a year with so much international travel, I have still been able to feel so connected. I could talk to Kyle on the phone every day I was in Uganda. We were able to FaceTime with our parents on Christmas Day. I get emails of love, support, and encouragement from my family and friends throughout the week. 

It really is a good time to be alive.

Thank you for everything, 2013.

And to 2014: You've got some big shoes to fill.

We get to celebrate Boxing Day for the first time ever! 

This was more or less our initial reaction:

I'm very excited for this extra day - Kyle gets the day off work, and we are going to sleep in, eat leftovers, drink alcohol, go to the beach, watch movies, and maybe even go shopping!*

Not necessarily in that order, but maybe… Who cares?! It's Boxing Day!

Happy Boxing Day!

*A reliable Australian source informed us this is how Aussies typically spend the day.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! 

love,

The Rifkins


In reference to the classic line from Home Alone

Since we aren't doing Christmas gifts this year, we've put a big emphasis on the food.

Let's be real: We would've put a big emphasis on the food no matter the gift situation.

We've spent a bit extra on ingredients in our attempt to recreate meals we've had in Christmases past. Maybe our bellies will think we're back home for Christmas.

So in this spirit, I thought I'd surprise Kyle with chocolate cookie sandwiches. They are a staple in his house at Christmas, so delicious, and pretty simple to make. These cookies are made from Devils Food cake mixes - and the Betty Crocker cake mix was even on sale at our grocery store!

(Interesting fact, cake mix boxes here contain the frosting packet - you don't have to pay separately! Excellent idea. Take note, America.)

I didn't need the chocolate frosting provided, so I bought the ingredients to make my own cream cheese frosting. I even found food coloring so I could tint the cookie sandwiches green and red, just like Kyle's always had them!

I returned home and quickly set to work.

I mixed up the cookie batter and it looked perfect. While my first batch of cookies were in the oven, I began to cream the butter and cream cheese to make the frosting.

My kitchen felt like it had been transformed into Santa's workshop.

The cookies were cooling. Of course I had to test one (or four) to make sure it tasted just right. The frosting was looking good, I just needed to color it red and green.

I opened the red food coloring, and noticed that instead of a squeeze bottle with a tiny, spill proof nozzle, it was just a regular bottle with a wide mouth. On the side was a warning to not spill, as it might stain - I made a mental note of this. I poured in a couple drops, then set the bottle down on a napkin in case some dripped down the sides. Then I began mixing it in, and oh it was just wonderful.

But of course, I didn't close the red bottle all the way. And of course, my hand somehow slipped and I knocked the bottle over and red food coloring spilled all over the white counter top, white floors, white cabinets, and the stove. 

Using colorful language, I quickly went into go-mode. I threw the hotel kitchen towels down and they were immediately soaked blood red. We don't have any paper towels, so I used as many napkins as possible. It must be a Christmas miracle because there is no permanent stain. (Except a bit in the grout, but hopefully housekeeping can work some magic and won't ask any questions.) My hands were pink the rest of the day, and all four of our kitchen towels look as though I used them to commit murder.

I stopped taking pictures of the cookie baking process.

But the mess was cleaned, the dishes were put away, and Kyle was delighted to find the chocolate cookie sandwiches!

I love, love, love Christmastime. The music, lights, shopping, wrapping paper, movies, food, church services, advent calendars, family gatherings, the feeling you get on Christmas morning.

I really love Christmastime.

Really, really love it.

Always have and always will. And yeah, I love the commercialization of it. Most people would be lying if they said they didn't have some appreciation of this phenomenon. It makes it easy to find Christmas movies on TV. It's a breeze finding Christmas treats at the grocery store. In some small way, it generates the Christmas spirit. And I love it.

Australia definitely celebrates the holiday, and everything from fancy restaurants to the petrol stations have some form of Christmas decor. But I have to admit that this year, I'm missing out on some of the Christmas spirit. It's been more difficult to find beloved Christmas movies on TV (and I'm guessing there isn't a 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story during the holiday.) I haven't been able to find all the items needed to recreate the Christmas dinner we're accustomed to (grilled shrimp on the barbie just isn't the same.) And of course, we'll be thousands and thousands of miles away from our family.

With the recent move, Kyle and I have even opted out of Christmas gifts this year. This is something we said we wouldn't ever do, because we do love picking out that perfect gift for each other. But with the move, and the subsequent minimizing of our household, we are so over having so much stuff, because any gift falls into one of three categories right now: pack it up, put in storage, or donate it to someone else.

So, Christmas is going to be different this year. But hopefully I'll love it just as much. Because while I might be missing out on some of the over-indulgent, commercialized aspects of it, it's bringing us back to the basics. Back to the reason for celebration - that joy and hope returned to a world of brokenness and despair. This is the beautiful message that we get to absorb over the next few days.

When we sit down at our two-person Christmas dinner, we'll offer up words of thanks and praise for the gift of true life. When we FaceTime with our families on Christmas, we'll be grateful for the bonds that tie us together in His Kingdom. 

And when I wake up on Christmas morning, I'll joyfully greet the only gift that I need: the hope and wellspring that is Jesus.

Food Tour: Dove & Olive

I love a restaurant with a good name and a great vibe. This is not a case of judging a book by its cover. Truly, the atmosphere established by a restauranteur who has taken the time to find a fitting, intriguing name then develop a warm, neighborhood feel inside their doors makes the food taste better.

Maybe it's all psychology, mind tricks, sorcery, or sleight of hand. But it works every time.

I was delighted to come across Dove & Olive, which had me swooning over the cute name. It also totally delivered on the great vibe: felt like a neighborhood pub where everyone would know your name. The food was so good, and considering Sydney prices - so cheap! The company and conversation shared was full of laughter, stories, and learning Aussie idioms and slang.

Kyle and I met up with our friend (whom we met during our last time down under) for a welcome back dinner. We quickly found a table and saw that not only did they have a meal deal but it was also Thirsty Thursday!

So we shared two jugs of beer for $20 and each got an $8 burger. Seriously, three people spending $44 on a meal that includes alcohol is a-maze-ing in Sydney. Even if the food didn't taste that great - which we've already established wouldn't be possible given the name and the vibe of the restaurant - but even if it was tasteless, I'd still consider coming back if only for their daily deals!

To Dove & Olive, thank you for your great name, fantastic atmosphere, delicious burger, perfect fries, wide craft beer selection, and yummy salad. I promise next time to grab a fork so I won't eat my salad with my fingers. Until we meet again, keep being awesome.

Two mornings ago, as we shuffled into the kitchen to make our coffee and tea, we walked right into a puddle of water. It was coming from our dishwasher. I called reception for help, but it was seven o'clock and the maintenance worker didn't report for duty until eight. 

An hour later, after a quick surveillance of the pond on the floor, maintenance explained that we used too much detergent. We silently disagreed, knowing that we hadn't used more than any other night, but had never had this issue.

Yesterday morning, around eleven o'clock, the dishwasher began beeping. I looked over, and foam was seeping out of all the cracks. I picked up the phone to call reception, but the hotel phone was somehow disconnected. At first I thought it was user-error, but multiple attempts proved it was the phone's issue. 

So I put on my shoes, and made my way towards reception to report the issue feeling slightly annoyed. I got to the elevator and the "down" button wasn't working. (Apparently that was user-error and it only responds if you lunge your entire body weight to press it the button.)

After I reported the issue, I returned to the room and waited for maintenance again. Their response was swift, and so was the judgment: too much dishwashing detergent.

This time I protested, explaining I used the smallest amount of the bottle of dishwashing detergent I was supplied with.

"No, no, no," the maintenance man said, "You don't use this bottle. You can only use the tablets."

To which I asked the obvious question, "Then why did you give me the bottle?!"

He didn't know. All he knew is that there were too many bubbles. And to use this dishwasher, you don't use the large bottle of liquid dishwasher detergent they provide you with, but the individual tablets that housekeeping brings. 

And then the man did what he had to do: called in reinforcements to scoop the bubbles out of the dishwasher.

I've officially been grounded from using the dishwasher for a few days.

#oops #sorrynotsorry #atleastthefloorisclean

Peace and grace. Inhale… Exhale. Peace and grace.

Those are the cues that have been swirling through my head lately. A constant reminder to inhale the peace and grace of the Lord, and exhale all of the negativity that is vying for my attention. 

Let me be painfully honest: this has been such a struggle.

I'd been told over and over again that the first year of marriage is difficult. In the months before the wedding I tried to understand what could possibly be hard about sharing life with my favorite person in the world. Whenever someone confided in me about the difficulty of the first year of marriage I would secretly think to myself, "I suppose you didn't know your spouse well enough" or "Trust me, Kyle and I have been through much harder - you don't know what you're talking about." 

(I understand these were presumptuous and judgmental thoughts, although I hope I'm not the only one with an internal dialogue as such. Or if I am, that you would forgive me for my inability to understand.)

However to a certain extent, I was completely right. Kyle and I have been through very hard and painful circumstances and we know each other extremely well. Marriage hasn't been difficult as compared to my previous understanding of our relationship. But sharing life together, sharing one another's joys and burdens in the unique relationship that is only possible through binding yourselves together in front of witnesses… That's been the difficult part. And if I had only been more humble and allowed myself to be more receptive when someone would confide the difficulties of the first year of marriage, I would have seen what they meant. Marriage is difficult because you're sharing every tiny, insignificant, stressful, painful, massive, exciting detail of life with one person. 

And if you throw a huge life change (such as an international move) into the mix, suddenly you're stuck in a glass case of emotion with your husband who can transform from your best friend to your kryptonite in a flash. You know you're being irrational and shouldn't get irritated about the little things, because everything is a little thing. Except you currently have the emotional capacity of a toddler and you can't help but throw a tantrum. And then you come to your senses and realize you've been overreacting, so you tear down those prideful feelings to look your partner in the eyes to apologize and seek forgiveness. But just a moment later you notice that the fridge was left open or a suitcase still hasn't been unpacked… And this terrible, but totally human, dance begins again.

In the midst of all of this, outside of our moments of unbelievable immaturity, we've been reminding each other to inhale and exhale. To fill our lungs, and our life, with the peace and grace from the only One who can supply it, and to expel all of the ways we are hurting each other. 

A deep breath is cleansing. It naturally relaxes you. It gives you an opportunity to pause before you speak. Deep breathing activates the portion of your nervous system that looks after your body's rest and recuperation. Deep breathing initiates healing. When we are intentionally exhaling the angst, irritations, and fears, it frees up space to inhale peace and inhale grace. 

Peace with our circumstances, peace in the midst of anxiety about the future. Peace in our relationship and in our hearts. 

Grace with ourselves as we adjust to a new rhythm of life. Grace in all of our interactions, especially with the person being overly pushy on the train home. Grace especially with each other.

At a time when our relationship could be marked only with the stress of our current circumstances, breathing in peace and grace never felt so good.

I like to begin at the grocery store.

Moving is intimidating. New place, new people, new streets, new bus lines, new jobs… Well, new everything. It never matters if you're moving to a different city, country, or hemisphere - there's always something new to learn.

And I like to begin at the grocery store.

When we first visited Sydney in August, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with the newness surrounding us. So, one afternoon I walked to the local supermarket determined to make some sense of it. I ended up wandering down every single aisle. It was information overload and I concluded my two hour tour by purchasing a bouquet of flowers and four bottles of wine. 

But I no longer felt overwhelmed.

Learning the grocery store sounds simple, but it gave me confidence in our new location. I knew what we could eat, where to find it, and how to prepare it. I felt like I had unlocked the secret to life here! I was as proud as our Neolithic ancestors must have when they discovered farming. (True - that's an unfair comparison. But considering our initial diet was ice cream, popcorn, and prepackaged dinners, introducing "real" food was practically revolutionary.)

This time around we are living in a different suburb than before. New neighborhood, new train station, and new grocery store. But I've already conquered it. We spent about an hour there this weekend and even bought enough food for two weeks. We've quite quickly transformed from the whoknowsifwe'llstayhere diet to thisisreallifeweneedtobuymorethanpopcorn. We've even used coupons and BOGO deals.

I don't think I'll be a true local, though, until the clerks know my name. Or know me as "that girl from the States."

Or at least as "that girl who never can find serviettes because she calls them napkins."

That one time we moved to Australia and cut off all of our hair.

Food Tour: Sailors Thai Canteen

We found this restaurant in September during our two month stint in Sydney. I quickly fell in love with the menu (flavorful and contemporary) and the atmosphere (community tables and chefs cooking out in the open). Seriously, what's not to love?

After eating here multiple times during our two month stint in Sydney, we knew it would be a crave-able flavor. I'm not too ashamed to admit that while we were home in North Carolina we might have discussed how delicious Sailors Thai is, and how we look forward to dining there again.

So, naturally, on our first Friday night in Sydney we had to get a seat at the welcoming community table of Sailors Thai Canteen. 

The elements of our meal were determined before we even entered the door. We wanted the moo grob won and geng keaw warn nue with two sides of kao, thankyouverymuch.

(But to be honest, we don't speak Thai… So instead of butchering the names of the dishes we asked for the pork belly and green curry beef with two sides of jasmine rice.)

The dishes arrived quickly, prepared correctly, and piping hot. We were ravenous and excited - this was the meal we'd been talking about for months! I couldn't even be bothered to take a picture before we started dishing out the food.

Above is the moo grog won - or the crispy pork belly smothered in a sweet and sour sauce. The pork was cooked to perfection. A crisp outer skin, but not overly heavy. Tender and juicy meat on the inside (which really is the belly). The dish's description of a sweet and sour sauce forgets to mention the spicy kick you get at the end of the bite. The flavors are very well balanced and I may or may not have licked the plate clean.

We paired the crispy, spicy pork with geng keaw warn nue, their green curry beef dish. The meat was slow cooked and was unbelievably tender. The green curry was bursting with coconut milk, thai basil, and what tasted a bit like mint. The heat was mild as compared to the pork belly. And wrapped up in the roti, which was well cooked and buttery… Well, we can just say that we were certainly full to the bone by the end of the night.

Delicious meal. Great company. And (relatively) inexpensive. Excellent date night.

Turns out they're hosting a 2014 NYE six course meal *hint hint* so perhaps we'll be dining there again very soon.

Hello.

It has taken me entirely too long to set this blog up.

And by too long, I truly mean I've spent hours. First trying to think of a name. Then trying (and failing) to resize the picture I really wanted to use as the background. Then I got turned around as I attempted to locate the "new post" button.

Blogging isn't for the weak.

Without further ado - allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Allison. I am recently married to Kyle. And even more recently, we've traveled to Australia to start a new adventure. I'm mostly kind and friendly, a bit stubborn, sometimes sarcastic, and often insecure. But what woman in their mid-twenties isn't. I love Jesus, reading, eating, working with people, and the Oxford comma (but not necessarily in that order).

I also am nervous about writing and sharing so many personal emotions and experiences with whomever is there. As we've established: blogging isn't for the weak.

Neither is the first year of marriage. Moving to another continent. Trying to do a mental conversion of Fahrenheit to Celsius. Or exploring a new city without a map of any sort.

So, with many prayers, a bit of luck, and some gumption I'll grow stronger by facing these new challenges. I guess this can be a place for me to process it all.